Saturday, June 23, 2007

32 Years In Retrospect ...

Time goes by so fast in the life of Jonnyroobs. What a journey 32 years has been for me. Looking back at everything that I have experienced, faced and endured, I believe there is so much room to improve and enhance my lifestyle furthermore.

I didn't had too many friends like many kids around my age (at the time) - and to this very day, as an adult. Even though in smaller numbers, I got the greatest circle of friends in the whole wide world. I didn't even have any recollections of great high school or college moments worth remembering - and definitely would like to forget forever. I've never had the getaway vacation with the family as they preferred to stay at home instead. I was the kid that never had a Happy Meal (with a toy) in McDonalds. I've had a lack thereof in communicating with my relatives from the Philippines and even in the U.S. I've never had a rewarding career after graduating from college. I feel like I am still invisible to the community that I have voluntarily given my time to. I've had a few setbacks in every relationship (with a lady) as each became a painful lesson to learn from. I was never the 'one' people would refer to as 'popular.' I felt that I gave in too much into helping certain individuals as the end-result wasn't what I expected from them - even worse is that they don't have the ounce of careness that I gave and shared. I live in a neighborhood for so long that I've never even moved away. I've always been stuck with the family (especially Mom & Dad), sometimes feeling not confident enough to grow up more because I was with them for so long. I'm considered to be a friend to certain people right now, but yet I question of my role, my significance, my importance in their lives and even questioning the friendship, itself.

What a life, huh. And I've survived it. Well, IT IS what IT IS. And that's only a snippet of what I can describe my 32 years so far. I was honest in mentioning those and didn't held anything back. Right there is my long road to where I am now. I refer to the old days as "Book One." Now, I am getting ready for the next chapter of my life:"Book Two" and the events that will follow. The new introduction to my life will start in a new location, a new place with an important character (from the past) who lives there and is willing to give me that new head start on life. Plus, I have total direction to where I want my life to go - on my own terms, and on my own decisions. With a fresh start, I feel that there will be a lot of success along the way and the sacrifices that come, too.

When closing my old life (Book One), I feel that there were some good moments too rather than most of the bad stuff I mentioned already up above. I'm grateful that I have a family that loves me unconditionally no matter how much of a headache I have put to them throughout the years. They have steered me in the right direction in which I never resorted to drugs, alcohol, or being in fights that could result in a bad rep. I have a good set of friends that have come to know me so well for those many years. And most of all, I realized that no matter what happens, my careness for the caring and uncaring will remain intact. I will always be there someway, somehow.


I have to honestly say "straight up" that not too many people know me that well in full-detail and that some would already jump to conclusion to judge me or think of me in a negative light. Just like I notice my flaws from years past, I see the same in them, too. No matter what, I hold no grudges ... so ... what will I do now? All I can do is move on and strive forth to be the best I can be as each day goes by. That's what's so amazing about life. Every day doesn't have to be the same. It's up for all of us to enhance our lives the best way possible with no limits despite of what happened in the past. We are all a work-in-progress.

Just take this to heart:

"Do what you love. Love what you do."

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